Love & Relationships
Dating and creating loving/sustainable relationships can be some of the most complex challenges we face. Human beings, in general, are tricky creatures and it makes a person's love life (romantic or non-romantic) a multifaceted journey. And, in some ways, it can get even trickier for us gay+ guys whether we are currently searching for love, or have found it and navigating some of its unexpected pitfalls.
When it comes to dating, finding a partner can either feel like we’re lost in a sea of options or stuck in a desert searching for something to drink. We also have the tendency to second guess ourselves - wondering if we are “not enough this” or “too much of that.” The combination of such things gets overwhelming and can lead to self-doubt or a sense of hopelessness. Yet, so much of this is unnecessary and can be resolved.
And, as we all know, even healthy relationships can come with their own set of complications. I often think of the first half of Alexander Pope’s famous quote, which says, “To err is human.” Relationships involve two or more human beings who always hold the possibility of making mistakes. The blueprint to having good relationships is not about being perfect (since that’s impossible), it’s about who we are in the wake of our imperfections. Because, as the second half of Pope’s quote says, “forgiveness is divine.”
Coaching On Love:
Intimacy and emotional connection
Monogamy and non-monogamy
Effective communication
Trust issues and rebuilding trust
Individual and shared relationship goals
Navigating life transitions together
Conflict resolution
Dating styles and struggles
Defining ideal partners
Cultivating confidence
When we get in conflict with dating or relationships, sometimes it seems like the easiest solution is to walk away. But studies show that human connection is some of the most fulfilling parts of our lives. Therefore, finding resolution is not only worth pursuing for the sake of our personal growth, but also for the sake of our own well-being.
One of the key elements to nurturing our relationships is to deal with its potential setbacks the moment we become aware of them (rather than waiting until they become a full-blown crisis). This way, we can create a safe space to have tough conversations with a professional to come alongside and help guide us through it. But not every partnership has the luxury of dealing with their issues in a pre-emptive way. In cases where the hurt and damage has gone too far, I can help navigate whether a life coach or traditional therapist would be better suited to heal any associated trauma.
As difficult as it might get, dating can be a wonderful adventure filled with opportunities to meet new people and form new bonds (romantic or not). And long term relationships provide a sense of intimacy and purpose that offers companionship and support. It takes courage, patience, vulnerability, and an open-mind, all of which are possible for each of us as men who love men. And, if one of the most significant things we can do is to invest in ourselves through coaching or therapy, then the next most significant is to invest in is our relationships.
