Sex & Sexuality
There’s definitely nothing on planet earth quite like sex and sexuality. It’s a fascinating dichotomy that can take us to our highest highs and our lowest lows. For some guys, it’s very straightforward (so to speak). For others, it can be confusing as hell. It might be an expression of love, a way to make friends, something to do when we are bored, an avenue for our self-esteem, a titilating adventure, or even become addictive.
Surprisingly, sex in and of itself is a neutral part of life, meaning it is neither inherently good or bad. What it means to us as individuals is often rooted in our beliefs, desires, and personal history. And the fact that it is not one-size-fits-all makes it an exciting (and somewhat terrifying) path to explore. As individualized as it can be, it is also influenced by the worlds we grew up in and the world in which we currently exist.
Fortunately, a large part of the gay+ community has really embraced the notion of sex positivity - a mindset that promotes sex and sexuality with an open and progressive attitude. It recognizes that sex is a healthy part of life and supports the diversity of consensual sexual expression. Unfortunately, being sex-positive by itself can’t always help us make sense of what we like, what we do, how we do it, how we feel, and how to handle the tricky emotions that come with sex.
Honing in on what feels healthy and natural vs what triggers our feelings of shame can get really complex since there is no one true universal approach. Whether it is committed or casual, or a confusing mixture of both, working with a coach or therapist can help us figure out what feels healthy and natural in a space that is confidential and judgment-free.
Coaching On Sex:
Exploration of interests and desires
Intimacy and physical connection
Monogamy and non-monogamy
Communicating sexual needs
Navigating differences in libido and preferences
Cultivating confidence and self worth
Developing and expressing boundaries
HIV education and STI wellness
Body and sex positivity
Tools & techniques
Larger society often regards sex as something shameful. Yet it is everywhere we turn - commercials, TV and film, the music industry, and especially social media. This mental tug-of-war about our physical pleasure makes it hard to know what is right for each of us. Being able to talk through sex and sexuality in a way that feels safe and comfortable makes all the difference in our ability to process who we are between the sheets. Or in some cases, late at night in a park.
There shouldn’t be any shame when it comes to confusion over our pleasure. If it was easy, it would all feel effortless right from the start. But if you are struggling, then that’s nothing short of normal. As a coach, my job isn’t to tell a client what to do and how to do it, but to help them discover their sexual sense of self in ways that feel positive, affirming, and healthy. Working alongside someone in a way that is professional and meaningful can make all the difference.
